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12.05.2012 18:54:11

Englisch-Arbeit

 
di Nicolas
Hey, schreib Montag eine Englisch-Arbeit und muss wahrscheinlich einen Pro-Conta Text über das Thema -death penalty- schreiben.
Kann mir vielleicht jemand sagen ob die Grammatik soweit in Ordnung ist?
Jetzt schonmal Danke!!!





At the time, many people around the world discuss about the death penalty, it behooves each themselves how correctly he finds this, but we can us on the basis of objective advantages and disadvantages a better and professional opinion about this topic of dispute build. A few people say it is the only way to stop crime, but who says that the man is not able to learn from his mistakes which he made? But it's hard to generalize this. And if times there an innocent, who was wrongly sentenced to death, you can never undo it. You can see the death penalty is something final, however can commit no criminal sentenced to death per a crime again. But it must be said also that the death penalty is a cheap way to punish a crime, and that the families of the victims often fell better when they know that the murderer of their family member is death. Quite clearly, however, the death penalty is a violation of human rights! It is also important that we never forget that the death of a person reverse the death of another. Now it is himself left to each as he thinks about the death penalty, but never forget there is always someone who thinks differently and that is ok, too!
 
13.05.2012 11:08:08

Re: Englisch-Arbeit

 
di fredbär
 
 
 
 
 
 
Messaggi: 361
Iscritto il: 02.10.2011 09:59:52
Hi Nicolas,

A few comments that might help;

At the time = damals ( im Moment = at the moment), many people around the world discuss you need present continuous here about discuss doesn’t use a preposition here the death penalty, it behooves unusual word (at least in British English) each themselves how correctly should be an adjective rather than an adverb he finds this, but we can us on the basis of objective advantages and disadvantages a better and professional opinion about this topic of dispute build verb doesn’t go to the end in English ;) . A few people say it is the only way to stop crime, but who says that the indefinite article might be better man is not able to learn from his mistakes which he made? But it's hard to generalize this. And if times sometimes? there is an innocent person, who was wrongly sentenced to death, you can never undo it passive would be better here. You can see the death penalty is something final, however can commit no criminal sentenced to death subject should be before the verb per delete a crime again. But it must be said also that the death penalty is a cheap way to punish a crime, and that the families of the victims often fell feel better when they know that the murderer of their family member is death dead. Quite clearly, however, the death penalty is a violation of human rights! It is also important that we never forget that the death of a person reverse don’t understand this the death of another. Now it is himself left to each as he thinks about the death penalty, but never forget there is always someone who thinks differently and that is ok, too!

Regards,

fredbär

How charmed I am when I overhear a German word which I understand! - Mark Twain
 
13.05.2012 13:21:00

Re: Englisch-Arbeit

 
di nicco2308
Vielen Dank, dass hat mir schon sehr weiter geholfen, ich hab leider nicht jeden fehler verstanden könntest du vielleicht nochmal über meine Überarbeitung schauen?, wäre echt nett den diese Arrbeit ist wirklich richtig wichtig denn diese Englisch Note kommt auf mein Bewerbungszeugnis und englisch war irgendwie noch nie mein Ding. :D :D

At the moment , many people around the world discuss the death penalty, it behooves each themselves how correctly he finds this, but we can ?us? on the basis of objective advantages and disadvantages a better and professional opinion build about this topic of dispute.
A few people say the death penalty is the only way to stop crime, but who says that a man is not able to learn from his mistakes which he made?
Good, it's hard to generalize this, but if times(=aber wenn es mal) there an innocent, who was wrongly sentenced to death, you can never undo this.(?passive?)
You can see the death penalty is something final, however can commit no criminal sentenced to death a crime again.
But it must be said also that the death penalty is a cheap way to punish a crime, and that the families of the victims often feel better when they know that the murderer of their family member is dead.
Quite clearly, however, the death penalty is a violation of human rights!
It is also important that we never forget that the death of a person reverse(=rückgängig) the death of another.
Now it is ?himself? left to each as he thinks about the death penalty, but never forget there is always someone who thinks differently and that is ok, too!
 
13.05.2012 15:54:53

Re: Englisch-Arbeit

 
di [PONS] yakyuyama
Messaggi: 306
Iscritto il: 16.12.2011 12:45:19
Hey nicco2308,

You're pretty lucky that fredbär helped you out so much, because this forum really isn't designed for helping people with such "big" problems/questions.

It seems to me that you would be better off paying someone to proofread your text. No offense, but it (still) needs quite a bit of work.

Good luck on your test.

Cheers,
Yama
 
 

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